Arranged integrity

What is this world coming to? Is it not important to be true to an interviewer, doctor, lawyer and life partner to be?

It appalls me when people I know (educated, young, modern with liberal views - so called, eh?) do not tell their partners to be/prospective (scenario: Indian arranged marriages) about their habits like drinking, smoking, eating non-veg and about a past if they have had one. Is not the basis of such a relationship based on trust and faith? When the very basics are not in place, how will the relationship bloom and last?

The other may not like and approve of your habits being a teetotaler or an animal lover and might make efforts to change you but at the end of the day should one not respect the other, as it is a personal choice? As for a past, what's the harm? Many of us do have a past and coming out clean is my take. Don't share gory details but you did not know this new person then, so...?

On the other extreme I know of others who are frank to the extent of sharing details that are serious and cause concern. Kudos to em!

The pessimist in me says: the former do well for themselves, eventually!

This is life in the big, bad world!!!

Disclaimer: This is an opinion being shared and not an accusation. Nor is the blogger trying to be the world's Moral Police.

Rant...

A list of random thoughts with absolute disconnect, from the draft folder.  


Does it make sense to use the phrase 'To each his own'? How practically feasible is it to apply the same in reality? Every individual has his/her own perception and take on everything in life but is life not all about compromises and adjustments?


Thus, ain't there a contradiction? 
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Does sharing come naturally to humankind or do we try inculcate the habit? Sharing includes materialistic goods as well as life’s. I really wonder if we can do so with no compulsion and for life?


Does the horizon really exist?


Can you draw a parallel? Is it not about how the mind is conditioned? Get the drift?!
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It happens only in India: A few things that exasperate and annoy me no end:
 - A chappal on the middle of the road


- A bus/truck with a branch or a stem of leaves hooked on to it t
indicate a break down.

- The payroll/finance team (outsourced entities) at corporates.


This list is incomplete, will be updated periodically.
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How many lives do we possess? Does every life on planet Earth possess a previous life and another to come? Is it all about religion, faith and belief or is there any scientific proof behind all of this?


Heaven is where the good people go and hell is where your bad deeds take you. Agnost, Pessimist  and Sadist that I am, I have no clue if God exists or not, nor do I know who goes to heaven or hell and why but I sure can say that good people are not as happy as they ought to be and vice versa!
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Solitude and me? I love it. To lunch by myself, spend time with myself, although with technology around me and not completely by myself. It's fun to do so....dunno why people find it strange, weird and out of the normal.


Solitude does not mean brooding, it can imply introspection or just enjoying one's space.
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Mockery in the name of the almighty

This is not about an agnostic like me questioning the existence of God (truth, reality in other words) but I can't help but ask - Is God numerous in number? Is God male or female? Does God believe in 'divide and rule'? Who created the various religions, castes, etc? Has anyone seen or felt God?


The very division of God into religions and cases like the Babri Masjid at Ayodhya only helps further lose sanctity of the divine. Sad to know that man can stoop to such levels just for political advantage. Is this not mere mockery of the supreme at the cost of life's of the general public?


Where are we heading? God help mankind!

Social Media and me

This is not really about my take on Social Media. I have very mixed feelings and views about Social Media (will save that for later) but this one Expert Speak Session that I did arrange for and had Jessie Paul over at the organization I work for, to talk on Brand Building in the age of Social Media, was possible because of twitter. Social Media sure helps network and share information but I do concur with the HP Labs report that states: 'Having a large number of followers does not imply you are an influencer'. Doesn't one lose one's space and privacy on sites like Facebook, etc?

To say the least, thanks twitter!

Life's lessons

While we tread the unknown path - Life, it remains to be a constant learning process. Typically one learns from one's mistakes and experiences, yet there are exceptions like me. I am learning but time will tell how I implement and learn to differentiate and deal with different people and situations.

A couple of decades into this process and I continue to seek answers to the below questions:

• Why me? Why does this happen only to me while others remain happy?
  Every thing that happens in life has a reason, attribute it to Karma/destiny or otherwise. As beautifully conveyed by Daily Om in the article Letting Go of Understanding: "Sometimes we are not always meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences and need only move forward." Do your duty and leave the rest to the universe.
  
  While this is all nice to read and talk about, how practical is it for a normal human to actually accept such reasoning for ones unhappiness or uneventful life?
  
  
• Who really are my well wishers?
  Isn't that tricky? Yeah, very tricky especially for the likes of me, who by nature are critical about small aspects of life and tend to fall for any individual who speaks well and seems  transparent. A very hard question to answer. All that glitters is NOT gold.
  
  A friend once said, "I trust very few people, I count the number". I was appalled at the thought and argued. I NOW realize and can't agree more.
  
  You think and believe...you know all, you are at peace and one with universe through meditation, you are content with life and it's ways, you are one of the biggest achievers,.......

        sadly you are mistaken. I a victim and hence an observer beg to differ
        from your opinion, irrespective of your age, experience, 
        attitude, thoughts which I have possibly appreciated at some 
        point in time in the past and possibly still value.

        I might have been affected or put off, but I will get over it and learn 
        thereby. What about you? You are cheating no one but 
        yourself.  Time to introspect and follow by action?

• To be an open book - bad idea:
  Don't share every little detail with all those YOU consider trust worthy and close to you. The same may not apply vice-versa. It is fine to blindly trust a mutt but not another human (not a smart move by any standards).
  
  
• To be attached yet detached:
  Sounds weird? Well, I know it does but ma first told me this, and then a friend shared the same thought. It doesn't seem to make sense and is hard to explain. Again, don't apply this to all and sundry, pick the select few. I leave it to you to figure out what it implies.
  
  

• Jealous: 
  Another article on Daily Om, conveyed something that we all are aware of but probably don't pay attention to - the positive aspect of Jealousy. It helps you realize your inner desire for a certain object/situation.
  
  
• Learn to NOT expect from the other, accept that the other is NOT you, the other is DIFFERENT. Focus on the self and identify your strength:
  To not expect is easier said than done, as it a natural human tendency that occurs in the unconscious. As for the latter, I am telling myself to accept that the other is different from me and hence not to expect an action or reaction like mine.
  
  Gurdjieff used to say to his disciples – the first thing, the very very first thing, “Find out what your greatest characteristic is, your greatest undoing, your central characteristic of unconsciousness.” Each one is different.
  
  

• Why do I write such posts?
  It helps vent, gather my readers views if any and last of all when I re-visit this page at a later time to recall what I learnt from those around me. This is not a bitter me but a gullible, naive me trying hard to adapt the worlds ways instead of feeling let down when others don't live up to my expectations. While this may involve most anyone I personally would like to exclude immediate family and loved ones. As for friends I won't comment as only time and situations tells you who really is genuine and always there for you. Yes, this is popsie who always believed her life to revolve around friends. Annoyed I am but not caustic, life's lessons are better learnt than left untouched!
  
  

Disclaimer: The intent is not to disrespect big achievers or those who are closer to the universe and are spiritual in nature. I am surrounded by umpteen such souls and respect them all for various such aspects, this is a mere observation that I believe I have the freedom to express.

Judgmental me

• Fat people don't realize the repercussions leave alone the cosmetic value.
• Don't like animals, especially mans best friend? Tells on you!
• Attitude, Conceit for no reason or rhyme - personal choice, eh? Need a mirror? 
• Technology slave - you need help. 
• Possess a stereotypical, run of the mill attitude, mindset? Ritualistic? Call for a Shrink!
• Judgmental, Critical (like me) - Change is the need of the hour.
• Open to criticism, change - way to go!
• Balanced (head on your shoulders) - Can't get better!

Note: This list will be updated from time to time.

Thinking aloud...

Man is engulfed  by relationships, some by birth others by choice or chance. Each beautiful, deep and timed in its own way. I learn, cherish and respect them all at different levels. They linger as memories with me until my grave and beyond!

Siddhagiri Wax Musuem

Why oh why, did I travel all that distance to Madame Tussauds, New York while my sister refused to come in and waited outside? I wasted 30-40 dollars and came out to admit and agree that she did a smart thing of never visiting the wax museum despite living in the country and traveling the globe.

Even if one does want to visit a wax museum I'd suggest that all Indians living in India visit the Siddhagiri Museum in Kolhapur. It sure is much closer and cheaper and the museum tries to depict the confluence of a self sustainable village life and nature.

MLTR - live in concert

Yes, another item (a rock show) on my wish list has finally been struck off. That's right Michael Learns To Rock - a Danish Soft Rock band was back in Bangalore, India on the 20th of June, 2010 for the third time to promote their new album 'Eternity'. The show started with the first number being 'Wild women on the back door, followed by Sleeping child, Sweetest surprise (from the new album Eternity), Actor (their first biggest hit), Paint my love (got the loudest cheer), That's why you go away and finally ended with Someday somewhere. The band went off stage and on public demand-request came back to play 'Breaking my heart'. 


It's been a really long wait, with a  huge crowd missing but that didn't matter to me. I was there with my friends listening to one of the bands that I liked a lot, way back in school. Every moment of the evening was spent in nostalgia, humming and swaying to the tunes of MLTR.

Style Statement?!

Body Piercing, Tatoos, Hairgel, Spiked, Coloured Hair and more - what kind of a style statement are you trying to make when all and sundry do just the same?!

Feel Good Factor: Ego Search

Ego search is so apt a term for googling oneself. In addition to my various profile (linkedin, FB, twitter, etc) results which I don't consider a result of my effort, I do have a handful of articles to my credit online in addition to my two blogs (I recently started contributing to a third blog (group), will essentially be cross posting from my travel blog).

It sure feels good, though my blogs are not thrown out in the search because I do not use my real name on my blogs but that does not matter. To see ones name or nick name in print undoubtedly gets you high! :-)

On love and Obligation...

Oblige is to favor, love is to set free
Obligation and love never cross paths.
I love thee, thus say not 'to oblige'!

Professionalism...Ramble...

Do we(Indians) lack professionalism? Undoubtedly, YES.

It's a small world out there, so many of us know so many others in common. Does that mean we go about discussing someone else's professional and personal lives with people who are not connected? I am not referring to GOSSIP(which is humane and natural).

Scenario1: Common friends may be colleagues in the past, present or future. It is sad to find  A and B(who were colleagues in the past) discussing  X (B and X are now colleagues, while A and X were colleagues in the past but never did A, B and X work together). Cut X, some slack.

Scenario2: A placement agency who is essentially an intermediary between a potential employee and an employer, communicates (amounts to a complaint) to commonly known people(who have whatsoever, no role  in the process) about the candidate not accepting a position.

Oh c'mon, where's your so called 'Professionalism'?

Aren't the HR of an organisation exasperating enough for employees to handle and sustain? We need no more of your kind.

Work-life balance: Do we understand the meaning of this term? Majority of us spend, 9-10hrs a day at work in addition to a minimum of 3hrs a day commuting to and fro work(in a city like Bangalore, especially) in an environment that is no less than a jail. Firewall and other tools in place that do not let you access the internet or any other external sites. Yes, you are there to do your job, yet to be caned and tied up like a dog(how fair is that)?

Even worse, is the concept of vacation. An employee has the right to take vacation. He slogs his ass out and then has to wangle for approval of vacation from his superior.

To Stretch: does it imply efficiency, productivity? Efficiency - from no angle, in my dictionary.

Acknowledgement of Receipt: Why is it only a one way process? Why do organizations/corporates/institutions only collect but refuse to provide 'acknowledgement of receipt' to individuals? An example I can instantly recall:

When an employee leaves an organization he/she has to return the ID card, failing which a certain amount will be deducted during the 'Full & Final Settlement'. While this is acceptable, what supporting evidence does the employee have for having submitted the same? TRUST, eh? Sorry, does not work, NOT ACCEPTABLE. It's about a mere system as against trust in a certain individual. The person accepting the ID card would probably not be with the organisation tomorrow, how will trust help in such a situation? Why don't they get it? Simple logic, ain't it? Even worse, why do majority of us(employees) accept and not question the same? It is so bloody annoying, to fight such systems that function on DOUBLE STANDARDS.

Intimation of Regret: Why do majority of organizations not intimate a potential candidate if one is not selected(must one wait endlessly)? Doesn't basic courtesy demand so? Unfortunately, such is the case in an arranged marriage scenario, as well. A Tamil saying that reads "Mownam Samadham" which means "Silence amounts to acceptance" works conversely here.

Shifting from rambling about work culture in India to People, their attitudes and complications....

No one is perfect, me included. Fidelity, lifestyle, opinion, etc are choices to be made in this democratic land while courtesy, basic manners and culture is an expectation(not a choice) from most anyone when you visit and stay at someone's place. It's after all not your place or your best buddy's place. Carry essential stuff like toiletries and sufficient cash(ever heard of the word - 'self respect'?), spare your hosts(after this experience can't wait to watch 'Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge') the use of fowl language(at least consider their age, generation, background), stop making CONTRADICTING, BLANKET statements. Introspect, go get a life!

I can rant away about several such instances, but it's a big bad world and discussing such people, ain't worth your time or mine. Realization of people around and the self (introspection) seems to be creeping in. I believe the outcome, are several valuable lessons learnt(one being: Be your own best friend, expect nothing from anyone whatsoever) and with that I take a break from rambling (cribacious and critical that I am) for the temporary present.

An Ode to You

Felt good to know that there were others as well (fellow blogger: Kartik) who arose at unearthly hours(4.30a.m) and let their creative side take over. Here goes the creative me...

I took you for granted 
I let you down


I disappointed 
  nagged
  hurt
  annoyed
  upset              You  (so did you)
Yet, I can't stop loving thee(you).


I love, cherish every moment, Good, Bad and Ugly, that went by.
You are an eternal part of me, be it physical or abstract in form!


Love does not: Possess,
                       Scare,
                      Cease.                       


Oh mother nature!
Bestow upon us the strength to accept life,
                                              not get bitter,
                                              maintain mutual respect.


Men will come , Men will go
I will love (wish you the best) thee (you) until my last breath in every birth to come!

Tuk Tuk on CyberSpace

Yep this post entails yet again - Singara Chennai.

I've been wanting to blog post about the Autorickshaw Trauma in Madras, that is perennial and exists since time immemorial. While I save that post for later, here is something I came across.

An Auto driver from Madras also has his own space in the cyber world: Tuk - Tastic. No bigge, eh? Ah, well: rather interesting and innovative! Only wonder what his rates are: like any other Rick in Madras or does he actually turn the meter on?!

The Chennai Sangamam

A weird sense of happiness and belonging sets in each time I go back to the city I grew up in and I just can't stop loving every little thing about it. I have been away for a few years and chanced upon the Sangamam this last time I was visiting.

Scheduled during the harvest season, for the period January 10th-16th, 2010 this open festival is set in parks, streets and beaches. I did not catch a glimpse of Sivamani(not sure if he did perform this year) nor did I get to drink the Jil Jigar Dhanda(a Madurai speciality) but I did hog on Goli Bajje(Mysore Bonda) and witnessed D.K.Pattamal's grandaughter Nityasree perform at The Nageshwararao Park. 

A much needed break with a classical touch and feel that reminded you of your roots(where you come from and belong). What a rich heritage!

Verbal diarrhea is the worst possible disease after blind trust!

What is your Carbon Footprint?

Carbon Footprints and Global Trade, opening up of an economy go hand in hand. With all the research and scientists around did we not realize that in the process of making life simple using electronic goods and producing tetra packs amongst the several other carbon generating products that this would harm the climate and result in Global Warming?

All over the place, all you read is - Go Green, plant saplings, use earthern pots in place of refrigerators, opt for car pools, use cloth/jute bags instead of plastic, switch off your computer and other elctronic gadgets while not using them instead of putting them on the standby mode, reduce your refrigerator's temparture during winter, etc.

How many of us will stringently follow this? Where have we got ourselves and what will we really do about it?

Calculate your Carbon Footprint.