Friday, August 20, 2010

Life's lessons

While we tread the unknown path - Life, it remains to be a constant learning process. Typically one learns from one's mistakes and experiences, yet there are exceptions like me. I am learning but time will tell how I implement and learn to differentiate and deal with different people and situations.

A couple of decades into this process and I continue to seek answers to the below questions:

  • Why me? Why does this happen only to me while others remain happy?
    Every thing that happens in life has a reason, attribute it to Karma/destiny or otherwise. As beautifully conveyed by Daily Om in the article Letting Go of Understanding: "Sometimes we are not always meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences and need only move forward." Do your duty and leave the rest to the universe.

    While this is all nice to read and talk about, how practical is it for a normal human to actually accept such reasoning for ones unhappiness or uneventful life?

  • Who really are my well wishers?
    Isn't that tricky? Yeah, very tricky especially for the likes of me, who by nature are critical about small aspects of life and tend to fall for any individual who speaks well and seems  transparent. A very hard question to answer. All that glitters is NOT gold.

    A friend once said, "I trust very few people, I count the number". I was appalled at the thought and argued. I NOW realize and can't agree more.

    You think and believe...
    you know all, you are at peace and one with universe through meditation, you are content with life and it's ways, you are one of the biggest achievers,.......
            sadly you are mistaken. I a victim and hence an observer beg to differ
            from your opinion, irrespective of your age, experience, 

            attitude, thoughts which I have possibly appreciated at some 
            point in time in the past and possibly still value.

            I might have been affected or put off, but I will get over it and learn 

            thereby. What about you? You are cheating no one but 
            yourself.  Time to introspect and follow by action?

    • To be an open book - bad idea:
      Don't share every little detail with all those YOU consider trust worthy and close to you. The same may not apply vice-versa. It is fine to blindly trust a mutt but not another human (not a smart move by any standards).

    • To be attached yet detached:
      Sounds weird? Well, I know it does but ma first told me this, and then a friend shared the same thought. It doesn't seem to make sense and is hard to explain. Again, don't apply this to all and sundry, pick the select few. I leave it to you to figure out what it implies.

    • Jealous: 
      Another article on Daily Om, conveyed something that we all are aware of but probably don't pay attention to - the positive aspect of Jealousy. It helps you realize your inner desire for a certain object/situation.

    • Learn to NOT expect from the other, accept that the other is NOT you, the other is DIFFERENT. Focus on the self and identify your strength:
      To not expect is easier said than done, as it a natural human tendency that occurs in the unconscious. As for the latter, I am telling myself to accept that the other is different from me and hence not to expect an action or reaction like mine.

      Gurdjieff used to say to his disciples – the first thing, the very very first thing, “Find out what your greatest characteristic is, your greatest undoing, your central characteristic of unconsciousness.” Each one is different.

    • Why do I write such posts?
      It helps vent, gather my readers views if any and last of all when I re-visit this page at a later time to recall what I learnt from those around me. This is not a bitter me but a gullible, naive me trying hard to adapt the worlds ways instead of feeling let down when others don't live up to my expectations. While this may involve most anyone I personally would like to exclude immediate family and loved ones. As for friends I won't comment as only time and situations tells you who really is genuine and always there for you. Yes, this is popsie who always believed her life to revolve around friends. Annoyed I am but not caustic, life's lessons are better learnt than left untouched!

    Disclaimer: The intent is not to disrespect big achievers or those who are closer to the universe and are spiritual in nature. I am surrounded by umpteen such souls and respect them all for various such aspects, this is a mere observation that I believe I have the freedom to express.


    Ajatshatru said...

    Good one! Since when have you started reading Gurdjieff? If I can follow what this great master has said, it would be the greatest achievement of my life. Finding one's greatest characteristic and the worst undoing is the biggest challenge of life.

    Ajatshatru said...

    Great introspection! No need to mention why you write such posts. Just being an observer to all things around you ... this is it!

    Vedant said...

    Chill....this is life.Take it as it comes...can do nothing else.

    Mr. Gyan said...

    Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived!

    Sowmya said...

    Well written.....I think at one point of time most of us do get into such a situation.
    Your reasoning definitely made me go into introspection too.

    Nandhini said...

    Every writer has a unique way of his understandings of life at every phase of his life. And I agree that when you come back to this post at a later point in time, it will make much more sense to you than it makes now.

    Appreciate the wit in you to put the understandings in words. Glad I came across this post.

    Good wishes!