Friday, May 25, 2007

Ego Personified!!!

What is Ego?
An inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others.

Ego and Super-ego are terms that offer a description between the conscious and the unconscious according to Sigmund Freud.

Every one of us have an ego within. How does it work and affect us - is what calls for concern. I think I have an ego that is not too huge but off late people tell me and so have I started to believe that I am Ego Personified! :(

No matter who says a thing that contains a pinch of criticism, I lose it. That's not a good sign at all...for the present I console myself saying that at least after I relax and cool down I think about what the individual has said and try make sense out of it. I most often agree to what has been said specially if it comes from loved ones or very good friends. Is it natural for the ego to get hurt at the first shot? Well, I need to work on it big time. Sooner the better.

Is it true that the Ego is related to a certain complex or lack of confidence from within? I don't see that to be the case with me at least. May be it could be because one is not happy with the way life is going for oneself. I am not getting into the psychology of the EGO.

Phew!!! three posts at one shot....thought I will pen down another but I think I must stop else I burn out!

Culture Shock - Changing Times??

People say it is not right to be judgmental but is it not natural to do so?

Is it a culture shock that I refuse to accept? I am a mod maami of sorts! For those of you who understand what that means- great going and for the rest keep guessing. :P

Why and how do people use each other? Heights of selfishness? Where has the sensitivity disappeared? Is it about morals and ethics or is it an individual choice and desire? Use and throw is the trend of the day!(not to forget having a back-up, back-up in love, ridiculous?!)

To get more specific I am referring to relationships in today's world(India). It's a personal choice agreed....but why do people consciously get into something viewing it as time pass? Fine, you get into it because of the desire and the urge within and also due to other factors like peer pressure(that sounds weird considering people in their late 20's who are expected to be mature also succumb to peer pressure). Alright get into a relation and go with the flow, I agree there is a biological need that one requires to satisfy and I am not saying that getting physically intimate with your partner before marriage(time pass or otherwise) is right or wrong. There is no hard and fast rule.

What beats me is that in our country today, women get physical within a very short span of knowing the guy. God! give me a break, do you even know each other well enough as people? Is that the level of frustration and desperateness or do you call it a natural process? I won't comment on the same on how a guy views it because know matter how much I discuss this with the opposite sex, I can't personally experience how they feel. It seems more like a barter system - you get me gifts and I'll give you fun! I understand that there are instances where there is a very high level of attraction(what they call fire..sparks) between two individuals that things just happen before they even realize what is going on. That is not the kind of case I am referring to. Here the individual is very clear in the head as to what he/she wants from the relation. If it is a no strings attached scenario from both ends - nothing like it.

I don't respect such women and may be men too(I am not excusing men but like I said I am not sure as to how it works for men and hence won't be able to comment). Get to know each other and then take things forward - that's my funda!

Again talking of relationships why is it hard to accept the past of your partner? Why does one refuse to do so? Why are we not sensitive to the others belief, thoughts and feelings? When two mature individuals part ways they can keep in touch - no harm in that, it is absolutely fine as long as the third and fourth individual's in their respective life's do not have a problem. Agreed, that one needs to learn to deal with things and handle one's own issues but that does not mean the other becomes insensitive.

Don't suffocate the other while in a relation, don't impose, don't control and don't possess(we are not objects to be possessed - so a friend of mine says)! Accept the person as he/she is.

Am I making sense at all?

The fact remains that there is no HARD & FAST RULE and this is purely my perception!

Beliefs of Convenience?!

Being religious, superstitious, and fanatic and hence being logic and reason less is an individual choice! Why force it on others? Why habituate people at home from childhood? It is ANNOYING!

Astrology is a SCIENCE, which means there must be some truth to it. False notions that your horoscope tells you everything about your future, past birth and next birth! Is there anything like a NEXT OR PAST BIRTH - I wonder!? To say it's all about destiny! What is destiny? When things go right or wrong one says: "It happened the way it did because it was meant to happen!"


I am not an atheist, I do believe in the existence of a supernatural power but to say all god is one and that we worship different forms of him/her - very weird! Why is it that we can't see or physically feel god if he/she really does exist? A force under which the human race can take shelter. A belief in the force - a convenience?

To say that the position of planets at the time of one's birth makes all the difference. If that is the case why must I bother to do something to improve my life or fulfill my wants/desires? Shouldn't the planets be taking care of them? The existence of a certain star, positioning of a certain planet, influence of a certain star in another individual’s birth chart with whom you are associated, and the list does not ever end - makes a difference in why and what is happening/happened/will happen in your life. Conducting a certain religious ceremony and fasting will help evade the evil.

Don't wear or do new things on a certain day, a black cat that crosses you, the lamp that burns out and a glass of milk that slips off the hand and breaks, a mirror in the house that cracks, etc - all indicate evil. It's a warning, an indication-sp tehy say.

While I question all of the above I wonder at the same time why is that I visit places of worship (not too frequently but I do so) and resort to prayer and fasting at times. Is it helplessness, frustration or the feeling of being desperate? I suppose visiting a place of worship can be justified since I am not an atheist and since I find peace and solace in such places.

Heights of idiosyncrasies and reason less blind belief – God will take care of everything (Why fear when he is around!) . With all due respect to an individual's belief - The entire concept beats me and I fail to understand!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

To Stalk and To Be Stalked

How does it feel to stalk or to be stalked for a WOMAN and for a MAN?

Stalking can be annoying,creepy,very discomforting and scary! I think it can be fun too as long as the victim is not being harmed in a BIG WAY! It's a thrill that you feel within that can't be expressed while it's a torture for the victim. Stalking can NEVER BE JUSTIFIED!

"Majority of stalkers have been in relationships with their victims, but a significant percentage either never met their victims, or were just acquaintances - neighbors, friends or co-workers"

What's the psychology behind Stalking? Does the stalker feel a thrill/kick while the victim feels a chill down his spine? Why does one want to stalk and become a stalker? What's the thrill? How harmful can stalking get?

Why does statistics prove that more women stand a bigger risk than men as victims?

Is it fine to stalk someone in a manner that only annoys the victim and nothing more?
In a manner such that the victim does not realise he/she is being stalked?

Types of Stalkers: Intimate partner stalkers, delusional stalkers and vengeful stalkers.
For more on the types do visit:

Are you being stalked or stalking someone? How do you identify a stalker - by his behaviour (that's but obvious).

This site will help you with identifying behaviour:

Would I liked to be stalked?Ummm NO!(to be phone stalked, gawd! it's annoying) but may be if I am unaware.. it won't really matter...or if the stalker is someone really cool n cute but still - to be stalked?!hmmm.. Would I like to stalk someone? Ummm......May be, may be not!

It won't be right to comment or be judgemental. The best person to describe how it feels will be one who has been a stalker and has been stalked, which means 'popsie'. I choose not disclose more than that and hence can't and won't comment!!! :) :P ;)

Good or bad - it's an experience by itself!!!

Friday, May 18, 2007


"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things."

- Biblical definition of love

- What is the four letter word 'LOVE' all about?
- What does it constitute?
- Is it really eternal?
- Does it happen only once in a lifetime?
- Is the feeling unbelievable and beautiful?
- Is love at first sight feasible in reality?
- Do we love the soul, the person, the charecteristics and attitude of the
individual, the body or the looks?
- Do we love thyself more than the other?
- Why do we feel miserable to let go? (Selfish reasons OR is the EGO being hurt?)
- Why does being in love make an individual feel on top of the world?
- To love and to be loved is the best experience ever - True/False?
- What does being love help you learn - makes you a stronger individual while the you
learn to handle the ego?
- Why is LOVE not selfless?
- Why do we possess another human like an object and not treat him/her as a human
with a freewill? Is it easy to do so?
- Is LOVE supposed to be made of boundaries and rules?
- How much does society and movies influence us?
- Is LOVE a make believe emotion or reality?

Well, well, there are no set or pre-defined rules...and the list of questions is loooooong - it depends totally on every individual as to how the entire concept is looked at.

Irrespective of how you look at it, it seems like a vital necessity to know what you are into(or are getting into) - so do ask yourself all the possible questions and find answers(that are convincing and that you believe in) to as many as possible.

Keep the faith! Patience and perseverance will pay off!

Njoi the feeling of being in love....and LOVE can happen before or after marriage,at any time, at any age, any where and any number of times - it's definitely not a compromise!! Even if you see it as a compromise, it is one that is totally worth your time and life - at least so, I believe.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Life - A Path That Leads To The Unknown!!!

What is LIFE?

"Life is a condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally."
- Wikipedia


Is it a path that each of us tread that leads us to the unknown?

Is treading this path dreadful or an enriching experience?

I'd say it is an enriching experience that comprises several phases, some of them being dreadful, others being happy, fun, jovial, challenging. The list is never ending.

To tread a path unknown? - Freaky? or Adventurous? How does it feel to keep guessing - 'what's next?'

It's great to move forward towards the unknown in a certain phase(when all seems to be in place and is going fine) while at others NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE WALKING TOWARDS - can be freaky. Feel Suicidal? Helpless? Depressed?

Give yourself TIME and you will be back to being your original self - time heals and resolves.

Life is short and thus live life to the maximum!!! Take life as it comes(easier said than done, agreed).

Njoi LIFE!!! Recipe: The perfect blend of ups and downs, good and bad, sugar and salt. Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved - so go ahead, LIVE IT!!!

Friday, May 4, 2007


"The new breed of single, older woman - confident, sophisticated, desirable and sexy, she knows exactly what she wants.What she wants is younger men and lots of great sex.What she doesn't want is children, cohabitation or commitment."
- Valerie Gibson

How far does what Valerie Gibson says true? Should we generalize and judge? I don't think it is right to do so(I have not read the book yet and thus to make a comment is not appropriate at this point in time).

Convenience? Commitment? Children? - all of these form part of any serious relation, no matter the differences.

What is the age difference? - This makes a big difference, so I believe. The larger the age difference the greater the risk!!!

Older women dating younger men, a relationship pairing that is considered unconventional - even taboo - by society.

Why is it considered taboo by society?

- The relation could lead to physical/sexual problems when you hit middle age (Is this a myth? - doctors say: you can do it if you have it, till the day you die. It has no physiological consequence.)

- The woman is not treated as a child and is expected to behave as a mature adult as against the Indian belief system - where the man is older than the woman, in order to treat her as a child and take care of her.

Different people have different views, thoughts and believes - which they are entitled to. It happens either by chance or is a conscious decision by the two individuals involved. If the individuals concerned are mature, conscious about the fact and understand what it takes to be there, it is absolutely fine.

Which relation, irrespective of age, caste, creed, nationality, arranged or otherwise is a guaranteed relation for life? Relations are full of understanding and compromises - as long as it is two way/mutual, that's what matters.

Life is a gamble and so is a relation/marriage - make your choice(it ain't easy though)!

Tuesday, May 1, 2007


Why do people not leave you alone?
Why are they always telling you what to do and what not to do?
Why are they always playing the blame game?
Why do they love to criticize and what do they achieve doing so?
Why do they derive happiness by paining others?
Why do such people get a kick out of it?
Why don't they learn to respect every human as each of us is a grown up?
Why don't they respect an individual's choice and views(they need not agree with the individual)?
Why is it so easy to gossip, criticize and blame others?
Why do they think because they are older in age they can throw their weight around?
Why do they become control freaks and control others lives?
Why do they think they are 'THE ALL AND END ALL'?

Get a life people(bunch of losers)!!!
Get a hold over your lives!
Look within - introspect!

I do boil my blood over such people,instances and situations(it is but natural and human) but then when I calm down I realize IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT or rather THEY ARE JUST NOT WORTH MY TIME AND ENERGY. Ignore them and move ahead in life. We need to co-exist in society and thus we tolerate such losers but for HOW LONG and WHY?

Handle this by nodding in agreement to all they say,avoid arguments and continue to do what you want and believe in unless you think the person and what he/she is saying really matters and makes sense. Let them make you out to be a dud or an arrogant fool - that's not your problem.

Pass on the message to them in a very discrete and diplomatic manner(at the right time) without creating disturbing situations and if they are as SMART as they claim to be, they will get the message!!! If they don't understand, then you know HOW SMART THEY ACTUALLY ARE!!! - lol :-)