What is this world coming to? Is it not important to be true to an interviewer, doctor, lawyer and life partner to be?
It appalls me when people I know (educated, young, modern with liberal views - so called, eh?) do not tell their partners to be/prospective (scenario: Indian arranged marriages) about their habits like drinking, smoking, eating non-veg and about a past if they have had one. Is not the basis of such a relationship based on trust and faith? When the very basics are not in place, how will the relationship bloom and last?
The other may not like and approve of your habits being a teetotaler or an animal lover and might make efforts to change you but at the end of the day should one not respect the other, as it is a personal choice? As for a past, what's the harm? Many of us do have a past and coming out clean is my take. Don't share gory details but you did not know this new person then, so...?
On the other extreme I know of others who are frank to the extent of sharing details that are serious and cause concern. Kudos to em!
The pessimist in me says: the former do well for themselves, eventually!
This is life in the big, bad world!!!
Disclaimer: This is an opinion being shared and not an accusation. Nor is the blogger trying to be the world's Moral Police.
It appalls me when people I know (educated, young, modern with liberal views - so called, eh?) do not tell their partners to be/prospective (scenario: Indian arranged marriages) about their habits like drinking, smoking, eating non-veg and about a past if they have had one. Is not the basis of such a relationship based on trust and faith? When the very basics are not in place, how will the relationship bloom and last?
The other may not like and approve of your habits being a teetotaler or an animal lover and might make efforts to change you but at the end of the day should one not respect the other, as it is a personal choice? As for a past, what's the harm? Many of us do have a past and coming out clean is my take. Don't share gory details but you did not know this new person then, so...?
On the other extreme I know of others who are frank to the extent of sharing details that are serious and cause concern. Kudos to em!
The pessimist in me says: the former do well for themselves, eventually!
This is life in the big, bad world!!!
Disclaimer: This is an opinion being shared and not an accusation. Nor is the blogger trying to be the world's Moral Police.
8 comments:
Don't ask , Don't tell is my philosophy.
And u can never be sure about what is the truth, the half truth or the damn lies.
you have a valid point but impractical. No one can open up in front of strangers
Loved the disclaimer..the lesser said lesser is the damage.. information that does not add value(Positive) is irrelevant.
Maybe right to a great extent.....but somethings are best left unsaid....
Habits definitely need to be discussed because the other person have to tolerate it later so its best to decide whether they are ready to include it in their life....A past might be a very judgemental call because in an indian scenario it is still not considered that everyone has a past and whatever said as long as there is no past which is going to become your present why should it even matter...........
It's just that we are responsible for our own moralities and actions.
Seems like most folks are of the same opinion.
@N: Like we discussed offline and I so agree and appreciate your take on how to handle it. Mentioning the truth but not delving in to details! Apt!
@Sowmya: Agree
@Pola: Very true but it is very easy to get judgmental and moralistic unless and until thy is in the said person's shoes is what I have come to realize. It's not always black and white, there is a gray area to it.
We live in a very judgemental world. For people to be honest about themselves, the world needs to be appreciate them and accept them rather than condemn them.
Mmmm..kinda disagree wid u on this... I had a friend who gt rejected in an arranged marriage cos the bride checked his fb profile n didnt like him going out with friends who were girls...of course, all those girls were already engaged but his bride cudnt get tht... the same pic cn b read in different ways n ur perspective mite nt b the one shared by the beholder...thr is reason y u hv an option of privacy protectin ur pics... my take, manage ur impression..always :)
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