Wg.Cdr.Srinivasa Kannan - The Irreplacable Man in My Life

The man to whom I owe my very existence,
has transitioned from the physical;
This too shall NEVER pass;
The void can NEVER EVER be filled;
My Biggest Hero Ever; My Omar Sharif;
My Soldier; My Fighter;
My Air Warrior; My Role Model;
My Guide; My Inspiration (to life);
I'm ever indebted and grateful for all that you had taught me;
And all the strength that you transferred to me as you passed;
My love, pride and respect for you, is eternal.
Your call sign ("Lord"), was more than appropriate to your personality;
while you were a true soldier who fought and WON EVERY battle, to it's logical end.
It will remain my PERMANENT desire that you ALWAYS be the reason for my creation,
in whatever life form, if ever, when ever and where ever.

Pa - I love you and miss you like crazy, and I know you are resting in peace as you look at me from up there and smile.

#itsalreadybeenamonth

Love, Life and Irony

Eternal beauty is to love,
Irony is to be unable to express love,
Survival is to be able to be amorphous!

Onliest

While they say... "I come alone and go alone, why can't I live alone?" Reality is a paradox -
'good or bad', I am on my own and so are you!

High Tide, Low Tide, Time and Tide

A wave was he who came by and swept her off her feet, 
as she stood by the shore staring at the horizon.
She swayed along amid the tempestuous tides of life, 
falling here and rising there.

A wave was he who picked her up time and again,
from the trough, down below.

Rise and fall did she until he the wave cast her ashore,
lest she think this is for eternity.

She lay there dazed, wondering if ever she'd encounter another 
wave like thee!

Life's faces

A man,
A son,
A brother,
A partner,
A father,
A friend,
An employee/employer,
Varied roles...

A face for society,
A face for family,
A face for a partner,
A face for a friend,
A face for colleagues,

A face for yourself,
A face in the mirror?
Varied faces...

Faces for the phase called LIFE?

Who is the true man (you) ? Is this about balancing or performance?

Life's lessons

While we tread the unknown path - Life, it remains to be a constant learning process. Typically one learns from one's mistakes and experiences, yet there are exceptions like me. I am learning but time will tell how I implement and learn to differentiate and deal with different people and situations.

A couple of decades into this process and I continue to seek answers to the below questions:

• Why me? Why does this happen only to me while others remain happy?
  Every thing that happens in life has a reason, attribute it to Karma/destiny or otherwise. As beautifully conveyed by Daily Om in the article Letting Go of Understanding: "Sometimes we are not always meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences and need only move forward." Do your duty and leave the rest to the universe.
  
  While this is all nice to read and talk about, how practical is it for a normal human to actually accept such reasoning for ones unhappiness or uneventful life?
  
  
• Who really are my well wishers?
  Isn't that tricky? Yeah, very tricky especially for the likes of me, who by nature are critical about small aspects of life and tend to fall for any individual who speaks well and seems  transparent. A very hard question to answer. All that glitters is NOT gold.
  
  A friend once said, "I trust very few people, I count the number". I was appalled at the thought and argued. I NOW realize and can't agree more.
  
  You think and believe...you know all, you are at peace and one with universe through meditation, you are content with life and it's ways, you are one of the biggest achievers,.......

        sadly you are mistaken. I a victim and hence an observer beg to differ
        from your opinion, irrespective of your age, experience, 
        attitude, thoughts which I have possibly appreciated at some 
        point in time in the past and possibly still value.

        I might have been affected or put off, but I will get over it and learn 
        thereby. What about you? You are cheating no one but 
        yourself.  Time to introspect and follow by action?

• To be an open book - bad idea:
  Don't share every little detail with all those YOU consider trust worthy and close to you. The same may not apply vice-versa. It is fine to blindly trust a mutt but not another human (not a smart move by any standards).
  
  
• To be attached yet detached:
  Sounds weird? Well, I know it does but ma first told me this, and then a friend shared the same thought. It doesn't seem to make sense and is hard to explain. Again, don't apply this to all and sundry, pick the select few. I leave it to you to figure out what it implies.
  
  

• Jealous: 
  Another article on Daily Om, conveyed something that we all are aware of but probably don't pay attention to - the positive aspect of Jealousy. It helps you realize your inner desire for a certain object/situation.
  
  
• Learn to NOT expect from the other, accept that the other is NOT you, the other is DIFFERENT. Focus on the self and identify your strength:
  To not expect is easier said than done, as it a natural human tendency that occurs in the unconscious. As for the latter, I am telling myself to accept that the other is different from me and hence not to expect an action or reaction like mine.
  
  Gurdjieff used to say to his disciples – the first thing, the very very first thing, “Find out what your greatest characteristic is, your greatest undoing, your central characteristic of unconsciousness.” Each one is different.
  
  

• Why do I write such posts?
  It helps vent, gather my readers views if any and last of all when I re-visit this page at a later time to recall what I learnt from those around me. This is not a bitter me but a gullible, naive me trying hard to adapt the worlds ways instead of feeling let down when others don't live up to my expectations. While this may involve most anyone I personally would like to exclude immediate family and loved ones. As for friends I won't comment as only time and situations tells you who really is genuine and always there for you. Yes, this is popsie who always believed her life to revolve around friends. Annoyed I am but not caustic, life's lessons are better learnt than left untouched!
  
  

Disclaimer: The intent is not to disrespect big achievers or those who are closer to the universe and are spiritual in nature. I am surrounded by umpteen such souls and respect them all for various such aspects, this is a mere observation that I believe I have the freedom to express.

Life is Purposeless and Meaningless

We humans eat, sleep, breathe and excrete because our system requires the same from us in order to function well, these things are not completely in our control and but natural. That is how our biological clock and system works. In addition we re-produce. We crave for material assets that give us some kinda weird pleasure but this can't be the purpose of life or does life have a purpose at all?

To do things that one likes, appreciates and enjoys is an experience not a purpose. Life in itself is an experience.

Like mentioned in an earlier post, life undoubtedly is a path that leads to the unknown.

A friend of mine says that it is when one feels joy and happiness from within,can connect with the cosmic energy and feels secure and protected by this cosmic energy is then that one has attained the purpose of life or is that Nirvana? Life's purpose is also to help others attain or come some where close to feeling this happiness from within, one step at a time, she says.

I can't quite comprehend and relate to this while another friend says, our mind is tuned to and can only understand logic and not irrational stuff. This is the reason why many of us tend to provide some kind of an answer as the purpose and meaning of life or existence. No matter what answer one provides, the next question that will arise is 'Why'. Why is xyz, the purpose of life, if that is answered it will be followed by another question 'Why so'. Hence there is no final answer for this question.

Why do people who have attained peace with themselves still need to earn and possess those material comforts? May be, this inner peace is a state of mind that exists only for a period of time(from one time to another) and does not last forever or is that not the case? What on earth is this peace from within? Again this friend, says that according to him it is about doing things you like, enjoy and are passionate about and enjoying every bit of what you do, sitting back and appreciating the world around you and not just being part of the rat race. This is not the definition but could possibly be somewhere close.

To me life, is abstract, bizarre and so is it's purpose and meaning. Guess it lacks both!

Sailing

I feel like the boat sailing away with the sea breeze hitting against me.

I feel like the sail fighting the storm not letting myself topple.

The company of the boat beside me feels like you are beside me
giving me all the strength to move forward!

The Face - A Reflection of the mind

Tierd of fighting against the odds of life
She looks old, haggered and lifeless

Unhappy as can be at her workplace
Seeing no progress on the personal front
It all reflects on her face.

Lucky n blessed is she with a supportive family n prospective partner
Yet constrained by society n it's laws
Her face gives it all away

Lazy, pampered and a casual attitude as ever
No physical exercise and regular routine
Her face n amorphous shape says it all

The fear that she will lose the one she loves the most
Shatters her from within n her face thus reflects her mind

Effort, faith n belief is all she is left with
Hoping that her patience will eventually pay off
Before it is too late!

Things I want to do before I kick the bucket

This list will be updated from time to time. Thanks to Princess Fiona for the idea;)

1)Live life on my terms
2)Try as many possible adventure sports possible...I'm dyin to do so
3)Find a job that suits my needs in every which way (never managed the Forces :( )
4)Gift ma n pa a world trip
5)Work with a NGO and know what it feels like to be involved in social service and start my own small way of charity
6)Own a lab if not several of em... the most adorable and faithful animal on planet - man's best friend and help my sis build her dream home for dogs
7)Shed those extra tyres and thus do justice to my height and beautiful face :P
8)Walk the ramp (made a mess way back in college once and denied the offer to model once earlier) and make heads turn :P . Actually model for the print media rather than walk the ramp NOW.
9)Visit Disney Land
10) Learn Salsa, jive and other dance forms n take part in one of those couple dance contests :)
11) Meet Pete Sampras, Steffi Graf, Boris Becker, John Mcnroe and loads of other tennis stars n watch a grandslam live (at the tennis court not on the idiot box) with my jeej :)
12)Travel/Trek to the Himalayas
13) To Gamble:

• Punting (Horse Racing)
• Cards (Teen patha, Rummy, Bridge)
• at Las Vegas (Gambled at Mohegan Sun on the East Coast of the United States of America)
  
  

Life - A Path That Leads To The Unknown!!!

What is LIFE?

"Life is a condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally."
- Wikipedia

OR

Is it a path that each of us tread that leads us to the unknown?

Is treading this path dreadful or an enriching experience?

I'd say it is an enriching experience that comprises several phases, some of them being dreadful, others being happy, fun, jovial, challenging. The list is never ending.

To tread a path unknown? - Freaky? or Adventurous? How does it feel to keep guessing - 'what's next?'

It's great to move forward towards the unknown in a certain phase(when all seems to be in place and is going fine) while at others NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE WALKING TOWARDS - can be freaky. Feel Suicidal? Helpless? Depressed?

Give yourself TIME and you will be back to being your original self - time heals and resolves.

Life is short and thus live life to the maximum!!! Take life as it comes(easier said than done, agreed).

Njoi LIFE!!! Recipe: The perfect blend of ups and downs, good and bad, sugar and salt. Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved - so go ahead, LIVE IT!!!